Hammer Reviews: Scary Movie V, Movie 43 and The Big Wedding (2013) Movie Reviews

SCARY MOVIE V, MOVIE 43 AND THE BIG WEDDING (2013) MOVIE REVIEWS

Now these reviews were originally going to come out when the films got released but due to time restraints, I had completely forgot to review them. Now, in 2014, I am finally going to review these three awful, awful movies.

Firstly, I shall review Scary Movie V, which to be honest, isn't that hard to describe. I mean, it's Scary Movie V. How this series has gotten to it's fifth theatrical release nonetheless, I have no idea. Anyhow, if you for some reason care, the film revolves around a couple named Jody (Ashley Tisdale) and Dan Sanders (Simon Rex) as they move into a new home, but after a few days, they start to notice paranormal stuff is occurring within the walls and from there, just everything stupid you could imagine happens. As if the whole premise behind a paranormal activity spoof wasn't bad enough, they also manage to ruin other phenomenal films like Evil Dead, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and even Inception. As far as the comedy goes, it is just the same crap over and over and over again. Seriously, it seems like every single joke in this film has to revolve around farting and shitting in some way, shape or form. Speaking of utter shit, the acting is just as bad as the jokes as when the main actress in the movie is supposed to be Ashley Tisdale, you know you have extremely big problems. While other actresses like Vanessa Hudgens seem to be moving forward, it seems that she is...well..left in their minor success. Seriously, when you're doing worse then people that have only been in one or two theatrical films, the troubles are already laid out right in front of you. Anyhow, to conclude, Scary Movie V is exactly what you would expect it to be, a terrible movie with crap acting and humour.

Still of Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan

Next we come to Movie 43, a film that I actually thought would be one of my favourite comedies of the year. How wrong I was, how wrong I was. One of the things I was interested in about Movie 43 was the fact that it was a sketch comedy film, and with sketch comedy being one of my favourite forms of comedy, I thought it would be hilarious. And considering the line up of actors the film had, I could only assume that the movie was going to be one of my favourites in 2013. Never thought it would be one of my most hated from last year. One of the many reasons I think I hated this movie was because of the fact that since YouTube is mostly sketch comedy, it had me thinking "Why did I pay to see this?" I mean, I could have watched way, way funnier sketch comedy on a free website rather than pay around $20 to watch mediocre comedy. Another reason why I hated this film was because of the actors, it's not that they were bad, it's the fact that these actors were more or less forced to perform terribly ad unfortunately, amongst the actor line-up, it held some of my favourites including Chris Pratt, Stephen Merchant, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and many more. It also seems like everyone in the film doesn't look like they are having any kind of fun whatsoever. It's as if they are just waiting for their heavy paycheck. Overall, even the actors couldn't put in the effort to pretend that Movie 43 was a good movie. And thank god they didn't, because this film just frustrated me from start to finish. This should have been one of my favourites of the year, but somehow, it managed to screw it up, royally.

Still of Terrence Howard in the final and funniest
sketch in the film

Now we come to the final film in our tri-factor of crap, The Big Wedding. Now I'm going to be honest, much like Scary Movie V, I didn't expect great things from this film. Though what I was expecting was something much better than what I got. The film revolves around a divorced couple who must fake they are together as their parents come to town for, you guessed it, the big wedding. Already the plot as many problems, one being why spend all this money on a fake wedding, just tell the parents and be done with it. Secondly, if you have been divorced for an extended amount of time, why wouldn't you have told your parents ages ago about this sudden split. As if this wasn't bad enough, the acting was just terrible in this film and even with comedic actors like Robert De Niro and Robin Williams in this film, they couldn't even save the film from its inevitable demise. Which is that it will be always be known as the film that never happened. Literally, this film was one of the worst films box office wise as it made barely any money, and managed to be one of the biggest bombs all year. Anyhow, the humour in the film is just as bad as the acting and the film actually did suffer from its advertising as it managed to show the funniest moments in the trailers, which to be honest, weren't all that funny to begin. Overall, The Big Wedding was a film that I just had too high of expectations for, even though I didn't have any to begin with. Real shame to, I wanted to like this film.